I told you this will cum - A Celica x Shulk Crack Fanfiction
by alolamelle
Summary: Two children of light, plagued by visions all night. What will happen when these two unlikely characters meet? Not even the mother Mila could have foreseen the outcome... (Update: yup got banned for this on FE Amino lol *cough*)


**WARNING: NSFW lemon**

 **Celica x Shulk**

 **I told you this will cum -** _A Fire Emblem x Xenoblade Crossover Fanfiction_

 _._

It was a breezy summer night. A frail maiden sat on top of a green hill,

gazing down on the nascar drivers who were about to race. The night sky above them filled with countless of stars, guided by destiny, she knew who was going to win.

The Contestants:

\- A boy wearing blue tight ass spandex, carrying a blade with a bigger chest than Camillas eyes.

\- A Reyn.

\- The Mae who is still hyper also a bae.

\- A man with a twitchting sword feet.

\- The Warriors armor break model DLC pack Tharja.

\- Also Alm being 20 minutes late with starbucks.

\- Beep Beep I'm a Sheep, jk it's Etika.

\- Savage Patrick.

\- Also Reyn.

\- Sharpshooter Sharena.

\- And Juju /dʒuːdʒuː/.

.

The girl on the hill gazed at them from afar. They were still preparing for the race.

Everyone making sure their cars are in best shape. Odin flexing on poor Juju /dʒuːdʒuː/.

She couldn't help but chuckle. Yet she knew.

She knew what was going to happen.

.

*Spongebob Narrator saying two seconds later*

.

A young man taking a stroll under the starry night sky was happily humming into the silent night, searching for a nice spot to view the upcoming race.

The wind lightly touched his barbie ken tanned skin, when he suddenly heard a loud sigh, as if they were ready to cry at any moment. Turning his head, he was taken aback by the sheer beauty who was sitting on top of the dark green fields. Upon taking a closer look at the female, he realized.

Her body quivered.

Sitting with her knees before her chest, she held onto them.

A tear rolled down her cheek.

„Are you alright?" The ugly blonde asked.

The princess of Valentia turned around and

„oof"

uttered the most robloxish sound one could imagine. Seeing the stature of a british stallion, and that minger face of his, she held her hand in front of her face denying her thoughts but couldn't take it in any longer.

Celica reached closer for the brit and

with a tender

gag, she puked sky high,

so high even for the architect to see,

into Shulks nostrils. Gasping for air and catching his breath, he gulped all down. It tasted like chica cherry cola. He desired more but as the nice guy he tried his best staying abstemious. Being filled by her warm dripping innards, he answered the question himself.

„I'll take that as a no".

.

„You see these people down there?" The orange haired asked after wiping her tears and rest vomit from her face.

„They will.. they're all going to.." Celica gripped the ends of her white skirt.

She couldn't bring herself to say the words. No one understands. He surely wouldn't either. What was she even thinking? The pain and suffering that comes from having these visions. Knowing the tragic outcomes seeing lives getting taken left and right, having not the power to do anything about it. Telling him will surely not help the situation at all. Like always. She is alone with this burden. Forever.

„What are you doing here?" she asked him.

„Something will happen later on" Shulk replied. „I came to find a good viewing spot. But then I found you and..."

Shulk contemplated for a long time ending his sentence, but looking at her face he couldn't help but uttering his thoughts. „Strangely you were never in my dreams. And never in my visions."

Celicas eyes widened. „Did you just say visions ?"

„Believe me or not, but I have the power of the Monado."

„ok I believe you" The Princess answered.

„Still. You weren't in my vision as well. By the mother Mila, who are you?"

„m, 18, name is Shulk, Colony 9. can't cook. U?"

„my name is Jeff. Celica Jeff."

They both stared at each other. This was the very first time for both of them not foreseeing this meeting. This was. New.

.

As questions over questions were accumulating in their heads, Celica asked him

„Do you also feel that telling others of your visions is nothing but futile?"

„Yes." He replied. „The simple act of telling someone you're about to die could never change a thing. It is always wise to tell them right AFTER it's ABSOLUTLY IMPOSSIBLE to change the future in any way. They will never understand our burden."

Holding her hands tightly to her chest, the Princess nods saying „You're speaking from my heart, o monado bearer. We're alone. But it seems as if the mother Mila connected us by fate."

Both smiling at each other.

„Today, the tragedy will start by the racer known as Reyn."

„If someone could only remove the nail…" Celica wondered.

…A moment of silence.

Pffff naaaah, it can't be helped shrug.

„Hey you wanna grab some popcorn and see the show?" The blonde nerd asked her on a date.

„SURE!" Celica happily agreed.

They both sit down on a picnic blanket, munched on a few popcorns and heared the horn blaring.

The race…

STARTS!

.

Being in full control of the situation, both Celica and Shulk are holding their hands, experiencing a rush of ecstasy by the choice they made.

The spectacle unfolded in front of them just as predicted;

Getting overtaken by Savage Patrick, Shulks best friend known as Reyn started nibbling on his fingernails, spitting them on the racing track.

Alm having his eyes on hot Tharjas arse, didn't see them nails, getting a flat tyre mid race, spilling his almond milk latté all over the place and bashed directly into Sharenas car,

causing an explosion of mass destruction – OOH YEAH – in bloody streams, we see the Valentian hero being scattered across the race ground, while Sharenas decapitated bunny head left a trail of furry blood when flying onto the front car window of Etika, making him scream like the little pussy he is, causing him to stop the car.

And die by stage 4 constipation because he ate Tobacco instead of Tabasco sauce earlier with a tad bit Mountain Dew plus Tide Pods.

Crashing into another, Reyns head rolling on the ground, blood spreading, cries and screams filling the nights silent void. Savage Patrick comforting Tharja bc Robin dumped her but he actually happy because they can play more PUBG together but Tharja actually pulling a hex on him earlier so she can read minds thus killing Pat with a smooth swoosh but then she died of a broken heart.

Mae avoiding the corpses on the ground, she drifts into her third lap, telling herself „I'm still hyper lezzgo!" only to be surprised by Reyns resurrected Zombie Form, punching the cars front open, nibbling on her soft skin then tearing her apart disjointing her limbs feasting on them one by one. Rex slipped over a banana crashing his car into Camillas bazongas, organs exploding like a firework. In this night the cold asphalt turned warm by the crimson red of the helpless victims.

Celica starts fondling her tits.

Juju/dʒuːdʒuː/ also slipped over hitting his head on the ground landing face first in a water puddle and suffocating because he fell unconscious.

This causes Shulk to touch his little monado.

The last man standing known as Odin Dark drives for his life, reaching last lap when suddenly his pre inserted butt plug malfunctions, drillings it's way up north, Odin now getting penetrated to smithereens from the inside, losing control over his vehicle, crashing into what is left of the race circuit, at least not dying as an ass-virgin .

„YES, OH YES!" Celica screamed and starts rubbing her clit.

Hearing the Princess' delightful screams and seeing all this blood gave Shulk a boner.

„You're the same, Celica. You and I.. we both love it."

„Gimme a cigarette" the Princess demanded

„Cool!" Shulk replied, both lighting their nicotine.

Both taking in the moment their bodies turn hotter and out of nowhere muffled vaporwave is playing in the background.

„Shulk. Never in my life did I expect someone like you to come along, sharing this sinful moment together. You know what…"

Celica took off her clothes.

„Fuck me. Now."

.

Shulk didn't think twice seeing her beautiful body and the large white breasts dancing in front of him he jumped over her groping these soft meatballs and sucking her dry off her breast almond milk.

The fair maiden started moaning af and began opening her sexy legs for the Smasher.

„I'm.. I'm seeing something!"

Lost in lust all alone Shulk found Elysium and couldn't wait to have a taste of her inner Shadows of Valentia. He packed out his enormous shrok and deep thrusted it into her tight ass pussy making her bleed in delightful pain.

„You're breaking me apart ahh!" Celica screamed.

Oh god was he good.

Pounding deep into her uterus, the princess started to UNLOCK and yelled

„YES YEEEESSSSSS HARDER DADDY!"

„We got a good rhythm going!"

And faster he got.

„I'll blow you away! MONADO CYCLONE"

Shulks secret technique, the spiraling pulsing shrok is stirring a tornado of sensations into Celicas tiny pussoir making both vibrate more than the harlem shake wash mashine. As if they're mixing together in their sweat, Shulk realized his almond milk is about to evade his dick.

„Almost there!" placing his manhood in attack position, he went for the chain attack bending Celica over thrusting her even tighter ass, then puss then ass then puss in rapid speed until he screams:

„I'M REALLY FEELING IT!"

The brit unleashes, a love package so heavy not even divine protection can help in this case.

„aahh i-it's so warm…!" The priestess uttered, feeling her smashing partner inside her, then being cummed all over licking whatever touches her face.

For a short time, there mind was blank, as if there were no visions at all.

.

After their long ass fugg, their excited bodies excreted an orgasmic substance, and overdosed their frontal lobes with high impact endorphoines, thus they received countless of visions;

one that Zeke is confirmed for smesh69, one that Alms almond milk doesn't actually taste like almond milk, one that the mexican maid of alolamelle will read this out aloud in in the Ascended Gucci Conglomerate Syndicate Mafia discord as we speak, and one that this fanfiction will be deleted on FE Amino bc Samurai is a bitch.

The most important vision is tho:

God is real and he cums in the shape of who we know today as ‚Luigi Mario'.

Both smile, nodding in agreement.

Lying together in a soft sticky hug, Shulk utters the words:

„I love you Celica."

Celica, turning her head 360°, replies:

„I love you too Shulk.

And everyone.

AND EMILIA!"

The End.

.

.

.

nifty

immaculate

pubg is better than fortnite


End file.
